Teretz Syndrome

Zeedar Teretz Stalks Girls on the Internet

Monday, April 11, 2005. 11:42PM

I began to work on this syndrome about nine months ago. The bulk of the work had been completed within a few weeks of me starting, but I was hoping to bring it all to a satisfying conclusion. It has become increasingly obvious that such a conclusion will never be reached, and so it is with something of a heavy heart that I publish this regardless.

Like many syndromes, it all started talking to my sometime associate, Lance Hardcore. Lance was cleaning out his MSN received files cache, sending me random stuff, and he sent me this photo:

"Wow Lance" I said "She's a babe, hook us up." Lance, however, said that he couldn't, because she was just some chick he had chatted to on MSN, and he didn't remember her e-mail. Well, thought I. If Lance can stalk chicks on the Internet, so can I. So here it is, kids. The reason nobody even puts their real name on the Internet

My first port of call was every stalkers best friend - Google. The name of the image Lance sent me was "smlBlairyfairyM1.gif," so I thought I'd Google Blairy Fairy, and see what came up. Ah! A live journal! But no, it's friends only, and besides, the picture here looks nothing like the one I have. And the name is Fairy Blairy, not Blairy Fairy. On to option two. Some forum. Some punk rock forum! Yes, this would fit with her defiant hand signals.

Ah HA! A LiveJournal!

Hmm, this is interesting. I've gone through the last twenty entries, and discovered the following facts, that will no doubt be useful when I contact her.

Lives with her mother. Grandma and Heidi came around on her birthday. I don't know who Heidi is, but it seems to be funny that she would eat.

Has a boyfriend, Phil. Quite a bit older. Went for a job in Melbourne which he didn't get, and he has meetings and stuff, so I guess he works. He drives her around. He has a sister Tania, who's married. The guy seems to be a shmuck He doesn't want to commit to a monogamous relationship, and they have little fallings out pretty often which she takes all serious like. She's really pretty obsessed with him, and her friends don't seem to like it.

The first mention of Phil (April 6) reveals his workplace - 96.1fm. Her friend comments that "that guy's eyebrows sit too high on his head." Reads a lot like they first had sex April 29. Some further investigation reveals that a Program director Phil Brandel works at 96.1. Although it's possible there is more than one Phil there, this is a small community station that broadcasts from North Ryde, and he goes to conferences and stuff, so I think it's quite possibly him.

Her Dad is Gay. His partner is called Brett.

Some of her friends are Tara (who is going to Thailand for 3 years to help with the unfortunate children), Hannah and Suzie, Danni (boy), and Rach (presumably Rachel, who's boyfriend is Alvaro. On her birthday she went out with Mattress and his work friends. Chilli (aka Damien) from Space Like Alice bought her drinks one time, so obviously he thinks she's hot. Hanah has been one of her best friends since year two. She's friends with Michael from the band The Chosen Ones. Their website is http://www.thechosenonesrock.com. It has a few pictures of him, and some basic stuff, but nothing really of interest. He plays guitar and is a Taurus. See? I note down the friends, because if I contact her, then knowing a little about so and so is a pretty good in, particularly if she asks where I got her address.

She likes the Hard Rock Cafe - went there for her birthday. Likes The Metro (Sydney), which I understand is sort of a medium level rock venue. Something like the Hi-Fi bar in Melbourne (as opposed to The Metro in Melbourne, which is a big greasy wog nightclub).

She likes Michael Jackson

She can't skate.

And the most important piece of information of all, her real name is Blair Hannon-Mill. Yes, I thought Blair was a boys name too.

And the incidentally important piece of information, her home e-mail is eyeofthetiger@iprimus.com.au.

The Live Journal also had a link to the webpage of her band, so let's check out that next.

The photo I had is also on this page, which I guess confirms that I'm on the right track. Her band is called the Studio Demons. She plays bass. You know what they say - "What do you call a person who hangs around musicians? A bass player." Ami McManus and James are the other members. There seems to be another guitarist in some of the photos (the ones from 2002), but he isn't in the band profiles. The seem to have only done two gigs, and haven't recorded any music.

Her pets are Heidi (dog), Magenta (rat), Chirpy (bird), Phoenix (fish). I guess that answers my question about why it's funny Heidi would have some of her birthday tea. She's a dog.

Important fact: Her date of birth is 3rd June 1986. I could have figured that out before if I had wanted, but here it is in black and white for me.

Important fact: This is her MSN; moshing_wombat@hotmail.com. Now we have a point of contact.

Now let's see if we can't find out where she lives. I'm going to Google her name.The first result looks pretty likly: http://www.geocities.com/blairy_fairy/. When I click it, I seem to be the 419th visitor to her killing Heidi fansite. This site seems pretty 2002 focused. It's horribly designed. Something flashing seems to be following my mouse. I did get a lot of new pictures of her with various rock stars though, which I've edited into a happy montage (to make me look good and crazy) below.

Okay, next up is the other plausible result on our Google search; http://www.freewebs.com/killingheidipix/. Just another bunch of pictures here, but a few of them are golden. As this is the second fan site I've found, I guess she was really into Killing Heidi at age 16. That would also explain the name of her dog.

Right. Next, I suppose I should trawl through that LiveJournal and figure out where she lives.

* * *

I'm looking for details of the area she lives in, goes to school in, hangs out in, whatever. The plan here is to pinpoint her general movements and run that against the phone book to see if I can't track her down. I figure that probably her address will be under Hannon, as from my experience, hyphenated names usually go mother-father. There are 79 Hannons and 21 Mills in New South Wales.

She gets her hair cut at Altering Images (Shop 34/277 Crown St. Darlinghurst). Crown St. seems to be her hangout, as she mentions Route66, Wheels & Dollbaby (all on that street) a few times each. I also noted that she puts stuff on lay buy. She had a skirt at General Pants, as well as some shoes some place. The skirt has been paid off and shoes should be as well by now, but that's not confirmed. I note that because if I knew where she had something on lay buy, I could probably cold call, pretend to be her dad or something, and find out her address like that. Or just go in there, pay the money and pick it up. I used to work in a store with layby - we wrote the addresses on the receipts.

On the 24th of March she won the Mandy Kane Competition, which involved being picked up in a limo and taken to a Mandy Kane show. I don't know if it's happened yet. I Googled it, in the hope that maybe I'd find out who was running it, and ring them up pretending to be the limo driver checking the address or something. Nothing.

She goes to school close enough to star city casino to go there before school. Across the road from her school there is a bookstore. Apparently, 15 minutes is a good time from school to the city. Her school seems to have a decent library (the Internet, anyway), free periods, and an extensive music program. Based on this, and the uniform she is wearing on her first day, and the fact that she seems pretty middle class, I conject that she goes to a private school. However, she mentions a teacher strike "next Wednesday", which would make it on either the 2nd or 9th of June. There is no further mention of it. Perhaps a catholic school? She doesn't start till 11:15 on Wednesdays. She does Art, Science, English, Music, and Drama (in her final year). The school co-ed though. At one point she mentions that she got Matt's (the drummer from Betchadupa) number. He went to her school. Looked on Betchadupa.com, but there doesn't seem to be a way of contacting him.

Her Mum works a few minutes from central (station).

Hands out flyers for work. I think maybe does ushering some place, and has to promote it beforehand. She mentions that she is working in Bondi at DJ's. $16.50 an hour. Worked at the Footy on Mother's Day (a Sunday). I guess that would be at the SCG. There is another occasion though (just one), when she went to work in Myer at Waringah Mall for 4 hours. Seems like pretty short irregular shift work. Maybe she works for some sort of generic staffing company? Don't think Myer would be into that though.

Looking at her movements, I tried to track down where she lives. She has to actively go to the city, but she does it a lot, so I'm guessing she lives within five or ten kilometers. I think she takes a bus. Going to the Bull and Bush Hotel in Baulcum Hills warrants an (sp?). I have no idea what that is. Kids these days. She went to the Krispy Kreme opening in Wynyard. She lives close enough that she can get a cab into the city from her house, however, stayed at a Hotel in the city on her birthday. She goes shopping with Mum at Chatswood. There is a bakery "up the road." Not sure if this is up the road from school or home.

This was all good stuff, but not really of that much use. Until this: "it is done at channel 9 and that is just downt he road from my house!!!"

This is a breakthrough. The Channel Nine office in Sydney is located at 24 Artarmon Rd, Willoughby. Alas, there is neither a Hannon, nor a Mill in Willoughby, but, it does fit in with some of our previous info, as it is a) not so far from Sydney, and b) pretty close to Chatswood.

When I searched for Hannon-Mill initially, in the hope that she was listed on her own, I returned one result - Hannonmill, which I dismissed. This was a mobile service, listed to C Hannonmill, in North Willoughby. Unlikely, as it is C not B, but nonetheless, a possibility. I investigated this further, and it's somewhere near Bateman's bay. Dismissed.

The suburbs I'm looking for are first Artarmon, then North Willoughby, then Chatswood and Naremburn. Northbridge and Castlecrag are an outside chance.

On my third try, what do we find? Hannon, N I. 1 Victor St, Chatswood. NSW, 2067. Phone number: (02) 9411 6976. Here is a map to her house. She's right - it is just down the road from Channel 9.

I checked out the other possibles. No dice. I think we got her.

And so it seemed I had reached a crossroads in my investigation. I had found out all I could reasonably expect to find out about her from the Internet... indeed all that I would probably need for whatever it was that I was planning, and yet, there was something missing from the article. I needed some closure - some way to end this. The obvious answer, was, of course, to rape and murder her.

I had, as I saw it, three options. I could try to contact her over MSN or ICQ or somesuch and post the logs - an easy, possibly amusing way out. I could also ring her house, recording the calls. A friend suggested that I should pretend to be from ticketek or some such, and offer to give her some free tickets in exchange for doing a survey. Have a chat, ask her a bunch of questions about my Internet site ("Have you ever read any Olsen twins gang rape slash?"), take her name, say she could pick the tickets up at the door, and wait for it to appear in her LiveJournal, thereby demonstrating a cause and effect with the life of a stranger. The final, most satisfying option would, of course, be to drive down to Sydney one weekend, take some photo's of her house - maybe wait around outside it and follow her someplace. Talk to her in a bar. Try and seduce her. Pretend to be German tourists - whatever it took to get a photo of me wearing a zeedarteretz.com tee-shirt with my arm around her.

Not being a man to do things by halves, or even by ones, I decided that the best option was to make some moves in all three directions, and see what hit paydirt. I made this list of the MSN's of all the people she listed as friends on her LiveJournal, and included their e-mail address on their profiles, and sent it too Lance Hardcore for him to get to work on. I did some research into recording phone calls, and made a few preliminary plans for our trip to Sydney. It was all kicking along nicely - the trip was planned for some time in mid July, when suddenly, on June 17th, she updated her journal.

"i am heading off to MELBOURNE this weekend to see daddy"

For the few of you who didn't know, zeedarteretz.com is based in Melbourne.

"he is taking me to see Lipazena hourses that dance, it should be tops and we are going out to dinner and going shopping. and his home on lygon street is almost finished so we are going to take a look! :D"

I nearly died.

We we're a few weeks out from New South Wales school holidays so I guessed she'd be coming down only for the weekend. No way she'd drive for that short a period, so I guess she's probably flying down Friday night and leaving Sunday. My guess would be Virgin or possibly JetStar (Australia's budget airlines). A Virgin flight from Sydney lands in Melbourne every half hour from 6:15 (the first flight she could possibly be on, assuming she leaves school on time) till 11:15, and on any other Friday night, I would have almost no qualms about sitting in an arrival lounge waiting for her, however, of all the luck, the Friday she chooses to come down just happens to be my birthday (there's a tidbit, oh person trying to reverse engineer my stalking), and I have other plans. No no, I'll have to track her down some other time.

Nobody called Mill is in the phone book for Lygon street, however, based on the simple principal that any gay man who would move to fashionable Carlton probably already lives somewhere kind of fashionable, I'm willing to bet money it's one of these.

Mill B J
15 Hartley St Northcote 3070 (03) 9481 5572

Mill C
102 Yarralea St Alphington 3078 Mobile Service
0417 500 877

Mill E
20 Crown St Richmond 3121 (03) 9428 8497

Mill G & T
133 Victoria Rd Northcote 3070 (03) 9481 3060

Mill P
56 Darling St South Yarra 3141 (03) 9866 4682

Or possibly the even more fashionable unlisted.

This line of investigation could wait, however. For the moment, let's chase down some horses. Some quick research reveals that Lipizzaner is a kind of Dutch dancing horse. A thumb though a Melbourne Gig Guide reveals "Lipizzaners with the Stars - 19 Jun. 2.00pm and 7.30pm, Vodafone Arena."

Whilst I could have driven up and down Lygon Street and camped outside any house under construction, this option was really no better than camping in the airline terminal. I knew where she'd be, but not when she'd be there. Me and Lance could have been sitting in that car all weekend without a result. I don't have the resources for a stake out. The arena at closing time might have been a decent bet, but it would have meant spotting her in a crowd. Also, there's multiple exits. In the end I gave it up and went to a Euro-trash party instead. I include this section of the discussion as an example of estimating someone's movements only.

With physical contact off the agenda, at least for now, I moved onto other communication methods. I registered a Hotmail address, "thoughtofitwhilehewasshaving@hotmail.com", under the pseudonym "Nick Dangerous", the theory being that everyone has a friend called Nick (I have several). I added Blair to my MSN messenger contact list, and she authorized me after a few days. I watched her go online and offline for a week or so, until finally on the 20th of July 2004, I grew a pair and initiated a conversation.

hey blairy
what's up?

hey.. hoo dis?

nick

nick who?

winslow
I live in melbourne npw

npw?

now they're right next to each other

oh ok.. where do i know you from?


ah
I dunno
I was in sydney like, eight months ago
we used to hang out a bit

why dont i know who you are?
where did i meet you?

parties and stuff

where?
???

Ah
I can't remember exactly
you were at a bunch of gigs

hrrmmm

and some peoples houses

i go to gigs.. and peoples houses?
who are you friends with that i am friends with?

I was living with jess
but I don't think you knew her
I was just tagging around with her and her friends for a few months

jess who?

martin

...
still dont know
send me a foto

of me?

yes

ha
okay
I'm just going to grab lunch
back in a sec

send it to eyeofthetiger@iprimus.com.au

alright

k

Here I started to panic. She wanted to see a photo of me! Whatever was I to do? I went to lunch and got a couple of suitably anonymous pictures ready, but when I came back it seemed that the problem had resolved itself. She was gone. About an hour later, however, she returned...

??

what?
you went offline

where do i kbnow u from?

I can't beleive you don't remember me
I'm totally cute

i dont know
di u send a foto
did*

no

send one
i wilk renmember u if i see you
i dont forget faces

do you want an angry one or one where I'm wearing a tux and look like a bit of a tool

ok
lol

which

tool

ha

:)

what address again?

eyeofthetiger@iprimus.com.au

sent

were you wearing a hawiian shirt?
and you play claranet?

dunno about the shirt
I used to play cello
never clarinet

hmm..

never well, anyway

damnit
send me the angry foto

I dunno
It's pretty frightening

sendit
did jess go to my school? and was she from hunters hill?

she lived right near the bridge

?? which bridge?
i seriously dont remember?
were you at umm..
fuck, i forget who's party it was

other pic sent

tim! tims party? were yu there?

yeah... I think so
little guy?

i dont know?
not really..?
were you in yr 12 last year?

yeah
first year uni this year

did your skool have a yellow t-shirt
or.. i met you one time and you were wearing a yellow t-shirt

my school didn't have a uniform
maybe

fark
i so dont remember

I do own a yellow tee shirt

argh!
does your mum own a toy shop?

nope

ok

teacher

well i dont remember
i wonder what that guys name is.. coz i think youy are someone else..
hmm

I'm crushed

do i have your fone number?

I doubt it
maybe

hmm
did jess go to hunters hill then mosman?

I couldn't say for sure
she did change schools

ok
i think i remember you

I knew her from wehn we were little
but I'm in melbourne most of the time

did you go to dominique's party?
well.. who cares...
i know what you look like now and so we will start ovre
HI!

hey

Well that was like pulling teeth. For the purposes of brevity, I've not included them, but you can read the rest of this conversation, and some others with Blair here. She had revealed her school, Mosman High School, which might be of some use in tracking down her movements in Sydney. I checked her LiveJournal after she went offline, and low and behold, she had posted a new entry. Mixed in with her usual stream of consciousness about farting was this little snippet:

"i am talking to someone on MSN named nick. i have no idea whee i know him from? he says that i met him at a party with someone called jess who he was staying with?? i dont ever give out my email to people, especially at parties!"

The saga with Blair went on and on. For months I read her LiveJournal on a daily basis. Primarily it seemed for focus on her relationship with Phil. She seemed to think she had fallen in love with him, and seemed to feel that warranted hundreds of words on the subject every couple of days. Their relationship was fragile at best. They broke up at least three times, and she mentioned crying herself to sleep countless others. It was instantly evident to me that she was an emotional young girl who had become obsessed with a much older man, in a totally different stage of life. She couldn't see that they had nothing in common. She couldn't see that he would obviously grow tired of the crap that only eighteen year old school girls can dish out.

Perhaps it was obvious to me because I was going through the same thing myself. When you are privy to the inner details of someone's life over an extended period of time, you cannot help but develop some kind of relationship with them. I began to dislike Blair. I joked to Lance Hardcore that when we went to Sydney (presumably to rape her) I would punch her in the belly once for every time she had spelt the word "excellent" as "sexellent." I would have had to punch her a lot. She talked about people's birthday's more or less every day, and never failed to spell it "bathday." I watched her go through her final year of school with seemingly no higher aspirations than TAFE (our equivalent of Community Collage, Americans - the lesser form of tertiary education everyone else). I watched her colour scheme change from dark purple on black to light yellow on white. Her daily inanities began to infuriate me. I saw her as juvenile and idiotic. Internet stalking this girl had become a chore.

There were signs, also, that something else was up. In October someone posted anonymously several times in her comments, calling her a "whore" and a "faggot." She promised that she was going to make the journal private, but I never saw any sign of it. I wondered for a moment, however, if this girl didn't have two angsty young men on her tail. Nothing ever came of it, however, at least not until the ninth of December, when she violated some privacy of her own, and some unemployed American's took offense.

time to laugh at the unemployed

this is a person who i used to talk to on some chatroom aaaaages ago.. like 3 years ago.
they are talkignto me on aim:

CarpexNoctem13: lol well i meant that that is where i prefer to chat .. cuz it never gives me serious problems =P
blairyfairy14: okay'
CarpexNoctem13: i havent lived anywhere for about a month now... i havent been on aim since like mid october... so im gettin back into the whole chattin thing
blairyfairy14: ok
CarpexNoctem13: lol nice buddy icon... i have that bowie pic as an av on palace...
blairyfairy14: kool...
CarpexNoctem13: not to mention as a pic for my myspace actually.. in my heroes section
CarpexNoctem13: and yep true to its nature... msn just died on me
blairyfairy14: lol
blairyfairy14: ok
CarpexNoctem13: i dont know why its so unstable... after all these yrs with the updates ud think theyd have improved that by now
blairyfairy14: mm
CarpexNoctem13: sorry do i talk too much?
blairyfairy14: noyes
CarpexNoctem13: lol noyes?
blairyfairy14: okay
blairyfairy14: what is your age?
CarpexNoctem13: but i used to be syko_e all over but last yr around november i dug up one of my older s/n identitiies i have never used since college
CarpexNoctem13: well im 30 now...
CarpexNoctem13: and you?
blairyfairy14: :o
blairyfairy14: i am 18
blairyfairy14: wow
blairyfairy14: do you have job?
blairyfairy14: +a
CarpexNoctem13: no not at the moment.. its still hard to find work here.. small town and i live in the country.. i get paid to do work around the house while my parents are to work... and i gather the eggs of the chickens my dad raises
CarpexNoctem13: it kinda isnt anytning im proud of but at least its food and shelter and a roof over my head
CarpexNoctem13: -shrug-
blairyfairy14: ok..
blairyfairy14: are you from america?
CarpexNoctem13: yep im in the states... iowa... i am not quite sure where youre from but i wanna say australia? or lol should i not even try to guess... UK?
blairyfairy14: i from australia
blairyfairy14: yes
CarpexNoctem13: yay


that is all for now.
made me laugh big. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHHA

*update straight after*
CarpexNoctem13: i was probly like um 28 when we first met on palace?
CarpexNoctem13: not sure... the years really seem to all run together
blairyfairy14: yes
blairyfairy14: i donut know
CarpexNoctem13: lol

what a knobhead!
he is freaking me out. eeeewww

 

 

vomit
2004-12-08 14:00

;o oh my GOOSES ! you're a FUCKING TWAT.

cracked_vinyl
2004-12-09 02:13

Fucking twat is an understatement landa dear.

vomit
2004-12-09 08:56

indeed it is. but fucking twat are the first words that come to mind. xD

cracked_vinyl
2004-12-09 14:30

LOL well if you rea dmy post i could... you know ram a midget up her ass, cause its probably loose enough,

cracked_vinyl
2004-12-09 02:02

you're 18? how about acting like you are, instead of sitting there and laughing at other misfortunes, how about getting your head our of your ass and giving it a good shake, maybe it will shake loose the pea sized brain of yours; then we can laugh at how unintellegent you really are, " donut" Its do not tawt. and another thing, you really should make these type of thisn friends only, or else you really will have a bunch of people on your ass. And how about tkaing you LJ link out of your msn profile, Dumb bitch

insurancexx
2004-12-11 17:52

well said, very well said.

Blair
2004-12-13 11:08

hahaha, you must all be unemployed too.
and american. and 30.

carpexnoctem
2004-12-13 05:21

no... they just happen to be my friends... TRUE friends who have manners and common sense and loyalty and have been there for me no matter what... you think you are so special and clever. Well, you need to check your ego and conserve the limited brain power you have to actually put that energy into things where people might actually give a damn or care. But I hardly doubt you are capable of that. You've shown what type of person you are with this stupid entry. If you hadnt have made this immature attempt to insult me in your personal journal, I am pretty certain I would have ignored you anyway after reading your other entries which are equally stupid and childish. If you thought you hurt my feelings you are sadly mistaken. I dont associate with idiots. I see now that losing touch with you for all those years was no loss.

themoo
2004-12-23 18:53

Geez! I'm even younger than you and I'm even smarter than you. I also happen to be Australian as well, and you are an embarrasment. Maybe you should re-evaluate your life and you would get a wake up call. If someone doesn't have a job, it doesn't make them any less of a good person.

bryirfox
2004-12-27 08:04

...sometimes if someone Creeps you out why continue to talk to them?

Why make a situation worse by showing how indignant nature. What does it matter where you are from or what age you are?

If you are a cruel person you will always be one. To laugh at a person for trying to make it in the world anyway they can is Heartless.

May Karma shine down on you and show you what you deserve.
Blessings.
Bryir

After that she made her LiveJournal private. I lost my means to track her movements. It was the final straw. I lost interest.

 

An Attempt to Justify the Legality of this Syndrome

In this article I have posted Blair's, name, her current home address, phone number, email, and numerous photos of her. Because of this, I have compromised any sense of anonymity that the Internet offers, and given anyone in the world a means to find her and do what they will. The intention of this article is to demonstrate that this sense of anonymity is a complete illusion. While I admit that Blair's fairly naive approach to her LiveJournal made her a greater target than most, it's not like I tried this several times before I had a success. I started this project with the tiniest scrap of information, and using nothing more than what was freely available on the Internet and a little common sense, I turned it into a fairly comprehensive profile of a complete stranger in a matter of hours.

I don't doubt that it is only a matter of time before some conscientious person uses the information I have provided here to contact her and send her my URL, and I am equally confident that I shall shortly after receive an indignant e-mail. My position is that I have not actually contacted Blair outside of the Internet. I could have gone to Sydney and taken pictures of her. Hell, I could probably have broken into her house while she was out and stolen her underwear. I could have placed a call to her house and recorded her voice. I did nothing that affected her life outside of the Internet. Nothing here was obtained by stealing mail or eavesdropping. It is all freely available for anyone. I encourage you all to try the same general strategies outlined here on yourselves, or even on your humble narrator, should you feel so inclined. It is my understanding that in Australia, stalking is a fairly poorly defined crime. What is better defined is harassment - a crime which I maintain I have not committed. In my opinion, which is based on nothing more than the briefest chat with a third year law student, the only part of this article which is legally dubious is the chat logs. This in itself isn't strictly speaking illegal - the case would be the first of its kind - however, based on the principal that it is illegal to record a telephone call without the person's knowledge, you could argue that it is also illegal to record a chat conversation. Were this true, however, it would outlaw basically all internet chat programs, or at least the use of their logging features. I would like to state that I in no way endorse the use of the information provided in this article by anyone for any purpose. I have not sought any formal legal advice on this issue, but am more than happy to, should litigation be on the cards. Blair, feel free to contact me at zeedarteretz@zeedarteretz.com, and I will provide you with the name of my lawyer and a contact address where you can send any legal documents.

I could not end this article with any other girl of the week, so here you are, gentlemen: a creepy montage of every photo of Blair Hannon-Mill that I came across on my travels.

Appendix A

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