I am Zeedar Teretz, and this is TERETZ SYNDROME, the cutting edge of modern internet journalism. The articles contained within this section are all wordy and irreverent, and tackle the issues facing society today with both a rapier wit and keen philosophical insight. For your convenience, they have been broken down loosely into four categories, separating the purely theoretical essays from the practical reports, and the vaguely pornographic fiction from the personal journals.