Contact Zeedar Teretz
About Zeedar Teretz
About Zeedar Teretz Industries
Frequently Asked Questions
Privacy Statement and Terms of Use


Hi, I'm Zeedar Teretz.

So you've just wandered in, have you? Searched for some random bit of text and this is what came up? Well I'm glad. Basically, what I'm going to do in this section, is firstly give you a bit about the site, and... y'know, its history and what have you, then maybe we'll get into some acknowledgments... an FAQ, maybe privacy statements and so on, so, if you happen to be one of my buddies or something... well... unless you want to revel in the glory that is my prose, maybe you'd be better served generating random story lines in the Pornographic Ninja section.



So you want to contact me do you? Well, I suppose I could give our my name, address and telephone number, however, as this is the Internet, I think perhaps you will have to be content with my e-mail address (unless you're an IT student and you know how to whois, anyway). Here it is: You don't have to do some magic subject to get read - just try not to sound like it's about viagra or mortgages.


About Zeedar Teretz.

There's a picture of me just above, about which you can correctly assume the following things:

1) I am a male, early twenties, capable of growing a beard (that's a two or three day growth).

2) I drink beer. Although the beer I was drinking from that bottle was in fact homebrew, the very presense of a Victoria Bitter bottle implies to some small degree that I live in Australia. I do. In Melbourne, Australia to be precise. is my personal website. I don't really have anything to express here, and I feel no real obligation to this website. With that in mind, you will find the content of hugely variable. If I get an idea and an impluse, it goes up. Updates are sporodic at best.


About Zeedar Teretz Industries.

Zeedar Teretz Industries is based in Melbourne, Australia. It is a dynamic group of young people - all with above average IQs. Most with some kind of tertiary qualification. We solve problems. Any problem. For a competitive price. Got a problem that conventional means would seem to be unable to solve? Well, I recommend Zeedar Teretz Industries. We'll give anything a shot. ABN: 49 443 914 864. Complete confidentiality is guaranteed.



Well, where to start. The first website I ever had was on Geocities back when I first got the Internet in about 1996. It was hosted over at Geocities, and was pretty much a Command and Conquer fansite, which was all the rage at the time. Man. I must have played that game so much. I don't think I even have a copy any more, but back then I would literally put in a few hours a day on it, which is a lot for anything, let alone one computer game. Anyway, this fansite never worked, because I was using the Netscape 3.0 editor thing, which linked images to the hard drive... and hell, I don't think I knew what HTML was back then. I never really did an update, just built it, put it up, and it never worked. It was the stupidest site, black background... animated gifs everywhere. I can't remember what colour the font was, but it was probably bright green. Anyway, I'm pretty sure it's not there anymore. My online handle back then was Waterrat, so if you want to look for it, feel free.

Anyway, a few years later, I was at school, and I wrote a column for the school newspaper called 'The People's Champion.' Which in turn had a website, which I think can still be found at It was a little popular, but I don't think it broke 1,000 hits in the eight months or so I was plugging it. That was designed in Microsoft Frontpage, which was much better than Netscape, but still hardly professional. I can't believe that they taught us to design in a crock of shit program like Frontpage at school. I mean, it's an okay program, it's really very nice the things you can do knowing nothing at all about HTML, but still, all the crap it puts in there... man... what a crock of shit. Anyway, sometime in the tail end of 2001, this site began to materialize.

At first there wasn't terribly much to For a long time there was nothing except for a rollover jpg in fact, announcing our impending coming. It was hosted for free on anyway... must have been sometime in 2002... I can't remember... I really should have written it down or something. We'll say about February 2002. Anyway, about then we began to have content. At first it was mostly film reviews, I think. About June 2002 I started doing a section called log, which was basically a journal of my life experiences. That was really the start of the site, I think. Well, it was the start of my friends randomly quoting my life experiences to me and scaring the hell out of me. After a while I hooked us up with a forum, which worked for a couple of Months. I can't remember what we talked about. I'm sure it was cool. At that stage we were hosted at Pornographic Ninja started about then as well. This was all in Dreamweaver at first, although these days I'm moving more and more toward oldschool HTML. Right now, for example, I'm programing in Notepad on a P133. Anyway, we moved servers a lot, features came and went, but essentially, the site has just grown from there. I don't know why I bothered writing that history section. I just realized that nothing interesting has ever happened on


Frequently Asked Questions

In truth, I'm not actually asked too many questions. Well, not non specific ones that would be worthy of an FAQ sections. I'll give you one. No body has ever asked me this, but I live in hope.

Q: Do you think it cruel to keep a giraffe as a pet?

A: Not if you live in a tall house.



A great debt is owed to my man Ed. He sometimes drives me places.

Pornographic Ninja started off basically combining these two sites, but then it took it in a different direction. Consider them recommend reading for anyone who likes Pornographic Ninja.

The 'Choose Your Own Ninja' upload script was designed by Ed, mentioned above. If you think he stole it from you, well, that aint what he told me. The story line generator is a modified version of some code that I stole from here. Most of the images for Pornographic Ninja were found in Google Image Search, and then usually manipulated in Adobe Photoshop. Please contact me if you feel your image is being misused, and we may be able to work out an arrangement that preserves both your dignity and my story lines The Javascript used in the title bar for the random background I got from here and modified a little. The images for said title bar are cut down films stills. They included frames from Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill, Vertigo, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Silence of the Lambs, Back to the Future, American Beatuy, American History X, High Fidelity, A.I.: Artificial Intelligence, Fight Club, From Hell, Grease, The Matrix, Mars Attacks, Casablanca, The Blues Brothers, and E.T. They were chosen because of their nice artistic composition, and their personal significance to me. They represent about a third of one frame from the movies, and, in my opinion, have been edited and displayed tastefully, however, if you are Universal Studios and you'd like to sue me, I'm sure we can come to some kind of arrangement.

Anything I've stolen in the logs I either hope to get away with, or I've credited in some way within the log in question.


Privacy Statement and Terms of Use

When you visit you log on the hit counter. This logs your IP address (which determines your ISP and country of origin), your operating system, your browser, what pages you visit, how long it takes you, and maybe some other basic stuff... either way, nothing worth selling, or nothing any other site doesn't log. If you register for the forums, you will be sent a cookie (identified by the code 'zt24601'). You will also be asked to provide an e-mail address. I don't do anything much with these e-mails. Nothing, in fact. If I feel the need to drum up some traffic, then maybe I'll e-mail you, but really, it's nothing to worry about. I certainly don't sell them, or use them for spam or anything. I doubt I'll e-mail you more than a couple of times a year. If another forum user e-mails me asking for information about you for one reason or another, at my discretion, I may give them your e-mail and IP address. At your request, a similar courtesy will be extended to you.

If you choose to e-mail me, then I own the content of your e-mail, any ideas contained within, as well as anything contained in an attachment. I am free to publish these on this or any other website, or in another form, with or without acknowledging you as the source. I am free to edit, manipulate, and pass off as my own (in no particular order), anything you send me. If you e-mail me, I withhold the right to publish your e-mail address, along with the content or your e-mail without your consent. That said, I am not a cruel man. I shall endeavor to treat your e-mail content in the way I believe you intend it to be treated. If you don't like the concept of your ideas being stolen or published, then I strongly advise you not to e-mail me. takes no responsibility for, and does not necessarily agree with anything that appears on the forum, including that which is posted by Zeedar Teretz himself. Occasionally, the Pornographic Ninja and Log sections of this site feature material that may be offensive. Anything that could be construed as a 'hate crime' is intended to be satirical. Anything that is mildly offensive is probably satirical also, however, if I am mocking a stereotype (fat people, for example), take a look at yourself and say "could I stand to loose a few pounds?" (have paler skin, speak better English, whatever) before firing me off an e-mail. This site is not intended for children. If you are a parent contemplating suing me for warping your child's mind, I suggest that you should have spent some more time censoring what your child sees on the Internet This site features the word 'pornographic' at least thirty times, and there are countless curse words. Any sensible NetNannyesqe product would block this site straight up. I know for a fact that it is blocked from several Australian school servers. It is assumed that any visitor who is intelligent enough to enjoy this site is also intelligent enough to take it in the manner it is intended.

Save Ferris.