Teretz Syndrome

I am Zeedar Teretz, and this is TERETZ SYNDROME, the cutting edge of modern internet journalism. The articles contained within this section are all wordy and irreverent, and tackle the issues facing society today with both a rapier wit and keen philosophical insight. For your convenience, they have been broken down loosely into four categories, separating the purely theoretical essays from the practical reports, and the vaguely pornographic fiction from the personal journals.


The New Age of Intolerance (July 06)
Guns for Ghana (March 06)
Poetry Rumble (July 05)
Lie Back and Think of Israel (December 04)
Homosexuality Makes a Lot of Sense (November 04)
Forty Three Objective Facts (September 04)
Conversations with Spike (September 04)
Let's Talk About Underage Babes (August 04)
A Syndrome About You (August 04)
Microsoft Should Buy a Cigarette Company (July 04)
The Unfortunate Fate of the King of Pop (January 04)
One last Coke before I die (December 03)
Just Tying up a Few Loose Ends (November 03)
I should be head of NASA (October 03)
An investigation into the nefariousity of the M&Ms corporation (October 03)
Having a website is passé (September 03)
Natalie Portman is a whore (September 03)
How to steal money from Microsoft The web as it used to be. (September 03)
How to make ten million dollars in two years (June 03)
We don't have a September 11 (October 02)
Michael Jackson is building the worlds largest penis (July 02)


The Lottery Sucker (October 06)
Zeedar Teretz Eats for Free (June 06)
The Moment of Clarity (May 06)
Zeedar Teretz on Hard Drugs (March 06)
Zeedar Teretz Reports the News (November 05)
Zeedar Teretz Practices What He Preaches (September 05)
Zeedar Teretz's Number One Girl (June 05)
Zeedar Teretz Stalks Girls on the Internet (April 05)
(Drinking) Game of Death (February 05)
A Pictorial Guide to Bomb Construction (February 05)
Lance Hardcore (June 04)
The Benevolent Dictator (May 04)
Ask Dr. Teretz (January 04)
My dabble in the dangerous world of Internet porn fakers (November 03)
The Live Log Experiment (August 03)
An exercise in reader ambivalence: Part Two (vulgarity) (May 03)
An exercise in reader ambivalence: Part One (Asians) (May 03)
The tortured life of a teenage alcoholic (January 03)
Life is like a game of Civilization (I'm going to dump my girlfriend) (October 02)
My first film reviews (July 02)



Delta (a poem) (April 06)
The Story of How a West African Nation Came to Possess an Island Chain in Southeastern Asia (October 04)
You can be Jane Fonda, I'll be Richard Gere (May 04)
Vagina (and analysis) (January 04)
The Olsen Twins Get Gang Raped By Genetically Altered Wolves 2 (December 03)
It wasn't until I reached Royal Park, however, that the fun truly began (three stories) (May 03)
The Olsen Twins Get Gang Raped By Genetically Altered Wolves (April 03)


Semester Break - Six Weeks of Adventure: Part Two (August 03)
Semester Break - Six Weeks of Adventure: Part One (July 03)
A year of log (June 03)
National Sorry Day (May 03)
Just call me Danny Zuko. Quite rightly. (May 03)
I am a Virtual Cop (May 03)
The A.Y.N. of women (April 03)
Give me my money, Mark (April 03)
Military dolphins and the Oscars (March 03)
The game is on! (March 03)
Asian girls and cellular phones (February 03)
SimCity 4 is calling to me (February 03)
Call me (February 03)
Working, girls (February 03)
A rambling discussion of my week (December 02)
The Device (November 02)
Girls (November 02)
Exams (November 02)
I keep seeing people I know (November 02)
Another week, another party (October 02)
A contemplative cross-section of my life (October 02)
Party-o-Rama No. 3 (September 02)
My girl has left for England (September 02)
I've been getting emails in Spanish (July 02)
I'm bored of this (July 02)
Further filmish dialogue (July 02)
A cavity and a Party-o-Rama (July 02)
Soccer and the record industry (June 02)
Man, I need a woman (June 02)
A night with Tristian (June 02)
A speculation on a MacDonalds Competition (June 02)
The first log ever. A speculation on licorice (June 02)

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